Tidbits from here and now...

Fanart - XxxHolic

2008-08-19T19:39:56Z

Fanart for flakedice's Supernatural Entanglements: Painted Fate --a complex and over-layered AU XXXHolic story that I just had to draw. (I'm kinda happy with how it got out as I couldn't --and still can't-- draw CLAMP's characters looking like CLAMP's characters)

(cut for huge)

the story is this way --> here and look for Lord and Prince

now I'm going back to work ~~Illustrator is out to get me! Send help!~~

EDIT: lj's out to get me too... dunno if this post looks like a post.

random random

2008-08-12T14:28:59Z

I'm Doumeki!
XXXHOLiC character selector quiz

i need a CLAMP icon...

baaad me, haven't been writing or working of all day when I should have. Watching the rain fall on the mountains and the mist was nicer. Another installement of 'Keep Flying' is in progress - it'll be less light and fun than the previous. (I also killed my hand while doing it yesterday, 'cause I'm trying to do it fully on Photoshop). Got half a mind to set up a fic-rec page. I'll maybe do it when I'll get Internet back in my room.

Two months left before going back to school. ~~I want those to months to be gone already!~~

Médiévale, second take

2008-07-28T19:23:50Z

Sunday, Albiez-Montrond, up in the mountains, with a really beautiful view all around.
It wasn't exactly a medieval fair since it was a fair centered on games (and so we didn't took the whole camp, weapons and armours), but we were in costume anyway. It went well - there were more people than we expected, and lots and lots of kids since there're two summer camps in the village.

The good news is, people who came liked the medieval theme a lot, the organisator and people in charge liked it a lot too, so it's not impossible that next year, there will be a 'real' medieval fair, with our complete camp and stuff (and the camp means we drive one day before the fair so as to eat around the fire the evening and sleep in the tents). That would be great - the place is beautiful and removed from major cities so it's incredibly peaceful...

With that, I wish my fellow Independants a good fair next weekend, the best of luck, and be brave. They'll be in Châteauneuf-du-Pape, they're going to be hot, and full of sand, and full of tourists...

The view from the site - the peaks were up in the clouds, and everything was green below.

Some pictures of the last medieval fair: http://resdlpbourget.free.fr/images/images/highres/dsc_7667.jpg (that's me...)
http://resdlpbourget.free.fr/images/images/highres/dsc_7695.jpg (the guys against the wall in the shade, minus those on the right (they're another compagny), it's a part of us)
There's more and about all the fair at http://resdlpbourget.free.fr/html/medievale_2008_sommaire.htm

Keep Flying, of Browncoats, Mutants and Wizards in space (4/a lot)

2008-07-22T16:07:10Z

Scott then decided letting Cedric get to know what passed as the Internet nowadays, and letting him roam free, had not been one of his best idea, once again. But River was quite pleased, so the Doc was too, so Kaylee was too and in the end, it was okay. It wasn't like they (Ced and River) were going to replay the movies in the crowded space of Serenity. Yet.

Médiévale!

2008-07-20T09:45:15Z

First medievale fair of the season is done - and it was good. As usual, we had more people in the afternoon than in the morning, the explainations about the weapons were the usual sucess, as were the fights, our witch couldn't step away from her stand since she had too many customers... It was good. So, of course, the guys were cooked alive in theirs gears, and our tents were in the sun with little shadow, but it happens everytime (and a medieval fair under the rain is worse, ask the rest of the compagny).

As for me, it was the first time I was officially 'playing' my role of chronicler on the camp - I did many drawings that I'll put on the site, and sold only one portrait. Now I know what I really need, and what would look best. *happy*

And if I had had one euro cent everytime someone asked if we weren't too hot in our dresses and if the stuffed wild boar in the camp was a real one, I'd be rich by now.

alexiel_neesan @ 2008-07-08T11:19:00

2008-07-08T09:33:11Z

Happened last Saturday, as I was looking after Fi' while her father and three other guys from the medieval compagnie were busy noticing how lovely the sound of their swords clancking against each other were (I'll admit that I'd like to have a sword too, but it doesn't fit with the character I mostly use on medieval fairs) :

Fi' was sitting on my car. Fi' is an adorable and about three years old girl whose vocabulary include Savoie's war cry, "sword" and the specific name for a kind of helmet with a moving visiere. My car is a old red Jeep Wrangler.
It went like this :

Fi :"That's your job?"
Me: "I'm still in school, but I'm an illustrator."
Fi: "Well, no, you can't."
Me: "Yes I can."
Fi: "Well, no, that's not a job."
Me: "Yes it is. See the pretty pictures in your books? I make them."
Fi: "Well, no."
Me: "Why?"
Fi: " 'cos you have a firefighter car, so you're a firefighter."

Awwww.

On this, I'm leaving tonight for Paris with my godmother - there's an exhibition of the clay warriors of emperor Qin, and it's a must-see while it's still in France.

Five stories that should have never seen the light of a screen - 4/5

2008-07-04T09:05:22Z

Ooh, this one's a winner. I had almost totally forgot about it.

Fandom: Yukikaze. For a quick summary, Yukikaze is a rather awesome anime with wicked looking airplanes and unknown enemies taking place on a planet linked to Earth by Antartica. The main characters are Lt Rei Fukai, dark, tall, handsome and only interested in his plane, and Major James "Jack" Burkhar, nice and protective guy all around.

some warnings: it's old. It's very badly written. It's loaded with mistakes. It's probably uncomprehensible.

Supposed to happen sometimes between Op. 03 and Op. 04.

ooooooo

    The battle under them was just a miniature show of lights and billowing smoke. It seemed so insignificant from up here. But they knew better. Those lights were people. And those people were dying against something they knew next to nothing about. What little they knew about, 1st Lieutenant Rei Fukai didn't dare think about it. The silent cockpit, for once, didn't seem all that safe; no, it was the universe around that was going downhill. Or maybe it was just him... _Don't go there!_

    His copilot finally spoke.

    "This got weirder every day..." He could hear the clicks the other man was making when entering the commands to retract the TARPS sporting the sensors. His copilot had been strangely silent while doing his work. Was it because of... _Don't go there!_ "Mission complete Lieutenant. We can go back to the base."

    "Roger" He activated the external radio, data defiling on the screen in from of him coming from his copilot. "Here SAF unit three B-3 Yukikaze. Recon mission complete. RTB, over."

    He took control back from the AI how had been set earlier to survey the fight below, and set vectors to head to the base. The man behind him didn't make a sound, the faint sounds and clicks coming from the other man's oxygen mask and the info from the copilot's seat the only indications he wasn't flying alone in Yukikaze. Rei was relived he didn't have to endure Captain Foss presence anymore but... even if 2nd Lieutenant Zack Donovan was affected to B-5 'Cloud', they had worked a few times together and Rei knew silence outside missions parameters and copilot's duty wasn't normal behavior from the weapon specialist; Donovan was chatty, easy-going and cheerful, friendly to everyone, and had even managed to befriend his pilot, a moody Captain even worse than Rei by the name of Seph Nazbarov. He had wondered, once or twice, how a guy like Zack had made it to the SAF.

    Everyone had a reason to be on this planet.

    Maybe was he... He cut his train of thoughts about Donovan unusual behavior. It wouldn't do any good to become paranoid - more paranoid. Beside, Yukikaze would have known if... if Zack had... if Zack was... like Tomahawk...

    Flashes of what happened on the Banshee IV flashed before his eyes. He blinked, then shook his head to make it go away, to think about something else. His helmet bumped lightly against the headrest of his seat. Yukikaze didn't waver of her course, thanks to the AI.

    "Lieutenant? Are you okay?"

    "Yeah. It's nothing."

    He hadn't spoke about what happened up there, just filled his report after landing, and passed out from sheer mental exhaustion on Jack's couch, where he had spend the night.

    They could see the base now. The controller's voice sounded in his helmet, indicating speed, wind, tracks. He couldn't afford of thinking about anything else than landing Yukikaze safely. She sure wouldn't be pleased with him if he did otherwise. It didn't even grace his thoughts to correct himself. Yukikaze as a being existed - he could feel her sometime, and she felt safe. She had saved his life. She had been there from the beginning, but he could feel her more since... since the dream of the cage, back at Jack's place... and then since she 'resurrected'. He wouldn't go there too. He had enough on his mind right now. He didn't need to remember that too right now - even if the memories were right under the surface of his conscious thoughts.

    He was well aware that everything would catch up sooner or later - and would do so messily.

    Jack was right to worry, he thought.

    He realized they were back in the garage when Zack jumped on the metallic ladder. He had spend the time from the landing procedure to being tugged back to the elevator on auto pilot.

    "Are you sure you're all right Lieutenant?" There was concern in Donovan's dark eyes. This was why Rei had wondered how, and then why, the guy went to the SAF.

    Rei finally released the controls, and removed his helmet. His hair was slightly damp, and felt cold to the air of the garage. The maintenance crew had already began their routine. She was in good hands. The screen only showed "mission cmpl Lt Fukai_". No "caution" blinking on the dark screen, no strange alarm ringing.

    He nodded at Zack before unbuckling his harness and climbing out of the cockpit with a final pat; then he followed the other man to the lockers.

    He had noticed a slight delay in the commands of the TARPS - he would have to look at that later.

    He had half expected to see Jack waiting from them to return too - the man had took an habit of waiting for him since... since... _Stop!_

    The lockers room was empty. It wasn't an unusual sight, only one or two of the SAF units were mobilized at the same time. Another plane and his crew had to have left before Yukikaze returned.

    Rei opened his locker, his things sitting patiently behind the metallic door - they would have to go to debriefing before he could test Yukikaze's commands.

    The commands hadn't responded at all when Burgadish and him had crashed.

    _Don't go there!_

    His helmet clattered when it fell on the the floor. He had one hand tightly gripped on the metallic door of his locker, the other hand into a tight fist, so tight that he could feel his blunt nails into his palm. Shutting his eyes hadn't make the images go away. It was making things worse.

    Zack turned at the sound of the helmet falling down on the other side of the room, only to see the lieutenant Fukai head bent on his locker, fists shut and visibly shaking. The flight hadn't felt right; he had already flew with Fukai and he had noticed a change. It hadn't been in the man ability to fly; he respected him as a damn good pilot; nor in the man almost non-existant conversation's skills. No, he had felt like Yukikaze had wanted him as far as possible from her pilot. It didn't feel strange for him to think of something like that, the Super Sylph units flying under the SAF were damned weird at times - he had felt like his unit B-5 "Cloud" was there as an independent being sometimes. When he had spoken of that to his usual pilot, Captain Seph Nazbarov, the other man had agreed about the feeling. Somehow, he doubted the engineers who had conceived the SAF Slyph's AI back on Earth had thought that the AIs would...'evolve', for lack of a more fitting term, when submitted to such a different environment, with so many various.

    Maybe Yukikaze had noticed something wasn't right with her pilot, even if said pilot denied it firmly. There had been some of the strangest rumors going around the base when the Lieutenant had been found back after disappearing, and then a week and a half ago, after the loss of the Banshee IV. He had dubbed them as bullshit, but it was clear that Fukai had had it bad.

    "Lieutenant?"

    Rei was back at this base in his mind's eye, back in the eerie nurse's arms, back in the room with only her and then the commander was there and Jack hadn't add anything to the message he finally abandoned you ungrateful brat and Burgadish was dead dead He paid a high price to save you. Don't waste his sacrifice. You owe him that. oh gods oh gods the soup... _Stop! Stop, please!_

    "Lieutenant! Are you all right?"

    Rei hadn't realized he was shaking until Donovan put a hand on his shoulder. He felt cold to the air of the lockers room. His breath suddenly caught in his throat and he fought the urge to throw up.

    The Lieutenant's pupils were dilated, he was shaking even worse than Zack would have thought and he felt feverish, even through the Zero-G suit. The most worrisome though, was that it seemed that the man wasn't aware of his surroundings. Zack paused, wondering what to do. He couldn't leave the guy alone, but he couldn't do anything here; he had to find someone who would be able to help. Major Bukhar was the first person he thought about; it was well-known in 'Boomerang' that the Major was Fukai's best friend, if not only friend, that the Major had been threatened with martial court when the Lieutenant disappeared, and that only this threat from General Cooley made him come back to his senses. That the Major had done everything he could to make Fukai recover from whatever happened that caused the Lieutenant to withdrawn completely after he had been found back had been obvious to the whole base. That he had punched out a window in the control room during the Banshee IV events had been whispered down from person to person into the base's corridors.

    "Lieutenant Fukai, can you hear me?"

    The man was beginning to hyperventilate, his breath hitching now and then. Donovan carefully put his other hand on the man's shoulder, trying to gently steer him away from the locker to make him sit on the bench in the middle of the room, not stopping talking once, doing his best not to surprise him. Fukai wasn't the first guy to have a breakdown, and moves done at a time like that, to defend oneself, or to defend oneself from whatever one was remembering, could be, and were, unpredictable.

    "You're in the SAF lockers room, Lieutenant, everything is all right, we just landed from a recon mission, do you remember?"

    Fukai flinched at the touch, but didn't react further, and let himself be lead away from the metal lockers. He put his hands on his face once he sat though, and retracted on himself, still shaking. Donovan crouched in front of him, his hands still on the other man's shoulders.

    "Lieutenant Fukai? Lieutenant, stay here!"

    The door on the headquarter side opened, and footsteps followed by a voice rang in the room. Donovan didn't lift his head, the voice and its tone were enough to know who was there.

    "Lieutenant? Rei! What happened?" asked Major James 'Jack' Bukhar, worry evident in his voice. The man was wearing his coat and red cap - it wasn't often that he followed the military code of clothing, like the rest of the Boomerang. He had to have come straight from an official meeting with higher ranked officers.

    Fukai seemed to react to the Major's voice, but he didn't stop shaking, nor straightened from his retracted position. Donovan lifted his head to look at his superior officer.

    "I don't know sir, I was about to call for you."

    Bukhar moved closer, and Donovan rose to let the other man face Fukai.

    "Rei? Rei, come on, look at me." Jack crouched in front of his friend, a hand on the trembling shoulder.

    He frowned at the faint warmth he could feel through the heavy material of the Zero-G suit. He tried to pry the hands away from the younger man's face with his other hand - he held his breath when Rei's too bright eyes were finally uncovered. Their pupils were dilated, leaving only a faint dark grey circle around them, looking like they were swallowed by the white around. This is what they had looked like when Rei had been unresponsive.

    Jack couldn't ignore the burning fear that exploded in his chest.

    "Rei, look at me." He hadn't been able to stop the tinge of urgency that had colored his voice.

    "Should I call the medics, sir?" asked Donovan. Jack nearly started at the sound of Zack's voice, he had totally forgot about the other Lieutenant's presence. But the question seemed to shake Rei out of his state.

    "No... no medic..." He blinked, his eyes going back to a more normal state, before drawing in a shaky breath, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands again.

    Jack put both of his hands on Rei's still shaking shoulders.

    "Rei," he called more softly. "Talk to me?"

    It seemed an eternity passed before the younger man slowly shook his head in silent reply, before he whispered, breath still hitching. It was so low only Jack caught his words.

    "No, no... don't need it to get more real..."

    "Okay," said Jack, his hands squeezing gently before sliding from the shoulders, "but I'm putting you off duty for the rest of the day, which is two more hours, and I want to keep an eye on you. Think you'll be all right?"

    Rei slowly nodded before talking again, a bit louder this time. "...There's a delay in the TARPS' commands on Yukikaze I need to look after..." He didn't change his posture, but slightly stopped being so tensed up. Jack didn't knew if he had to be relieved or frustrated Rei countered him with Yukikaze.

    "You'll take care of that later. Don't make me turn that into an order."

    The last part could have been harsh, but Bukhar had such a worried look when he say it that it took all the harshness away. Zack suddenly felt like he had intruded on something very private.

    "I'll wait for you outside, okay?" Bukhar rose from his crouch as Fukai swallowed hard, then nodded with what seemed a bit more life than he had shown in the past minutes. As the Major straightened up, he caught the eye of Donovan, discreetly making sign to follow him out. Fukai had slowly stood up from the bench when Zack stepped out, still wearing his flight suit.

    Once in the empty corridor, he faced a very worried Major Bukhar.

    "Has something happened on the mission?"

    "No sir, all went well... The Lieutenant Fukai seemed to have a lot on his mind when we were coming back, though - and I think he hadn't realized we had arrived to the garage. He seemed lost in his thoughts. We were just back in the lockers when he... well, 'stopped'."

    Bukhar nodded, eyebrows frowned. "Thank you Lieutenant Donovan, I'll see you later. You'd better go report for debriefing."

    Zack couldn't help but salute at the retreating man. "Sir, yes sir." Major Bukhar, though he was second in command of the SAF, wasn't all that crazy about military protocol such as saluting and all. He had been a pilot, he knew how it was up there in the skies, he knew what was the war, he cared about his pilots, he knew that they were human beings and treated them as such, on the contrary of some commanding officers who saw them as dirt and cannon fodder because of their pasts. He was patient and kind but knew when to be firm - and his men loved him for that all. So, even if he didn't care all that much about salutes and all, he had it automatically from his men as a show of their respect. On a drinking evening with Seph and some others from Boomerang, they has agreed at unanimity that if someone had to be nominated to sainthood on Fairy, it was Bukhar. Then one of the pilots had added that if one had the patience to put up and befriend Fukai, one was already a saint. Needless to say, they had all been pretty well smashed this night.

    He watched as the man stepped back into the lockers room. He couldn't help but hope their top pilot would be back to his normal silent self soon. The guy was needed up there.

    Jack paused, shocked, when he got back into the lockers room. Rei was laboriously putting his jacket back on, the move not hiding the fact that his T-shirt was floating on his frame. The young man wasn't by any mean large to begin with, he had a rather slender frame, and had a fast metabolism on top. But his shirts usually didn't hang on him. Jack wondered when was the last time he had paid close attention to the younger man; the last week or so had been hectic due to the 'Banshee IV events', as they had been dubbed, and the Boomerang squadron had been more needed than usual, more fights and new JAM nests keeping on appearing. Both of them just hadn't had the time to complain about work around a beer and Jack's latest attempt at a boomerang.

    It had been a mistake.

    Jack calmly walked to Rei. The young man was still facing his locker, head bent, the dragon stitched on the back of his jacket glaring at Jack.

    Jack put a hand on his shoulder - what he had seen earlier had definitively not been a trick of the light; Rei had lost weight. As worrisome was the heat he could distinctly feel through the material.

    "Rei?"

    Rei closed his locker before turning slowly toward his friend. Pushing the images away was leaving him kind of hollow. He wasn't feeling all that good. Jack put a hand on his forehead, and he flinched at the touch, surprised, before relaxing against the oddly cool hand.

    "You're burning up. You sure you don't want to see a medic?" Jack asked, frowning. Rei fought not to see the eerie nurse and her weird maternal behavior again.

    "Yeah... I'm sure." And with his luck of today, he would probably run into Foss on the way to the base hospital. At least, it had been Donovan who had been here, and not one of the brash jocks passing as pilots who liked to put supposed-to-be-threatening notes and porn pictures in his locker. The man would keep this quiet.

    "Okay... I'd rather you crash at my place tonight, I don't want it to get worse."

    Rei nodded his assent. He was more at ease at Jack's place anyway, as his own place could only be qualified of "cupboard". It was also very bare. And very silent. And very empty. Suddenly, he wasn't sure if he could be able to deal with being alone right now. He glued his cap back on his head, separating himself from the outside world.

    _I had told you... I had told you not to go there..._

    The elevator ride, then the monorail ride to Jack's block passed in a blur. Rei blinked when they stepped into Jack's apartment, feeling suddenly disconnected from what had happened in the last minutes. Jack didn't push at his friend sudden stillness; he shrugged off his heavy coat and dumped it with his cap on a pile of old files sitting along the wall like so many others.

    "What do you want to eat? I got some pizzas left, and beer too..." he trailed off, heading to the disaster zone acting as his kitchen. From the corner of his eye, he saw Rei slowly going back into movement and sitting on the couch, before removing his cap and rubbing his eyes.

    He came back with two beers, seating one in front of Rei.

    "I'll got something for the fever."

    Rei nodded absently, taking the beer but making not move to drink it.

oooo

And here it ends. I'll probably never continue this, it's being too long since I watched Yukikaze( and the ending kinda cut all motivation out of me). Please forgive me the special cameos Zack, Seph and Cloud, but I needed names...

Five stories that should have never seen the light of a screen - 3/5

2008-07-03T20:48:30Z

Actually, this one is meant to be written (and is written), though this is not the final version, just a bit on the side for fun. The full story will be centered on Cedric.

Twilight belongs to Meyer, as everything else she wrote. Her text was merely borrow for entertainment, as was JKR's character. And I probaly managed to slip awful galliscisms in this.

Title: Northern lights, part two - scraps
Twilight and Harry Potter

I was standing by the back corner of the truck, struggling to fight back the sudden wave of emotion the snow chains had brought on, when I heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled.

I saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once.
Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror, as was Cedric Diggory, two cars further. Theirs faces stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something solid and warm pinning me to the ground, and I thought I heard someone swearing to my ear. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I'd parked next to. But I didn't have a chance to notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with me again.

A low oath made me aware that someone else was with me, and this voice was impossible not to recognize. A dark mass jumped before my eyes and two long, white hands shot out in my field of vision, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.

Then the hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging me and the warm body now cushioning me, swinging ours legs around like a rag doll's, till they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt — exactly where -- a second ago -- my own and another's legs had been.

It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen's low, frantic voice in my ear and the coughs in my other ear.

"Bella? Are you all right? Cedric?"

"I'm fine." My voice sounded strange. I tried to sit up, and realized the warm body beneath me was Cedric loosely holding me down while Edward was holding me up against him in an iron grasp. It was Cedric who was coughing, but he said "I'm fine" all the same.

"Be careful," Edward warned as I struggled, Cedric letting me go. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

"Sorry about that," rasped Cedric.

I became aware of a throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow," I said, surprised.

"That's what I thought." Edward's voice, amazingly, sounded like he was suppressing laughter. I saw Cedric shake his head - he was still coughing.

"How in the…" I trailed off, trying to clear my head, get my bearings. "How did the two of you get over here so fast?"

"We were standing right next to you, Bella," Edward said, his tone serious again, Cedric nodding his assent to the other boy, still coughing.

I sat up, and this time they let me, Edward releasing his hold around my waist and sliding as far from me as he could in the limited space, Cedric barely moving to let me stay on the cold asphalt. I looked at their concerned, innocent expressions and was disoriented again by the force of the twin stare. What had I been asking them?

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at each other, shouting at us.

"Don't move," someone instructed.

"Get Tyler out of the van!" someone else shouted.

There was a flurry of activity around us. I tried to get up, but Edward's cold hand pushed my shoulder down, and Cedric gripped my sleeve.

"Just stay put for now."

"But it's cold," I complained. It surprised me when Edward chuckled under his breath. There was an edge to the sound. Cedric chuckled too, but it was sounding more and more like a gargle.

"You were over there," I suddenly remembered, and his chuckle stopped short. "You were by your car, and you were behind him," I turned to Cedric.

Edward's expression turned hard. "No, I wasn't."

"I wasn't either." Cedric's gray eyes darkened.

"I saw you." All around us was chaos. I could hear the gruffer voices of adults arriving on the scene. But I obstinately held on to our argument; I was right, and they were going to admit it.

"Bella, Cedric and I were standing with you, and we pulled you out of the way." Edward unleashed the full, devastating power of his eyes on me, as if trying to communicate something crucial.

"No." I set my jaw. The gold in his eyes blazed.

"Please, Bella," said Cedric hoarsely.

"Why?" I demanded.

"Please, Bella," he repeated.

"Trust us," Edward pleaded, his soft voice overwhelming.

I could hear the sirens now. "Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"

"Fine," Edward snapped, abruptly exasperated.

"Fine," I repeated angrily. Cedric shook his head at us and didn't say anything, still coughing.

It took six EMTs and two teachers — Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp — to shift the van far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Cedric quietly refused his, Edward did too but more vehemently, and I tried to do the same, but the traitor told them I'd hit my head and probably had a concussion. I almost died of humiliation when they put on the neck brace. It looked like the entire school was there, watching soberly as they loaded me in the back of the ambulance. The boys got to ride in the front. It was maddening.

To make matters worse, Chief Swan arrived before they could get me safely away.

"Bella!" he yelled in panic when he recognized me on the stretcher.

"I'm completely fine, Char — Dad," I sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."

He turned to the closest EMT for a second opinion. I tuned him out to consider the jumble of inexplicable images churning chaotically in my head. When they'd lifted me away from the car, I had seen the deep dent in the tan car's bumper — a very distinct dent that fit the contours of Edward's shoulders… as if he had braced himself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame… And then there was his family, looking on from the distance, with expressions that ranged from disapproval to fury but held no hint of concern for their brother's safety. Cedric's bike had been abandoned to the side further up the parking lot, overlooked by everyone.

I tried to think of a logical solution that could explain what I had just seen — a solution that excluded the assumption that I was insane.

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital. I felt ridiculous the whole time they were unloading me. What made it worse was that Edward simply glided through the hospital doors under his own powers, as did Cedric. I ground my teeth together.

They put me in the emergency room, a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel-patterned curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer under my tongue. Since no one bothered pulling the curtain around to give me some privacy, I decided I wasn't obligated to wear the stupid-looking neck brace anymore. When the nurse walked away, I quickly unfastened the Velcro and threw it under the bed.

There was another flurry of hospital personnel, another stretcher brought to the bed next to me. I recognized Tyler Crowley from my Government class beneath the bloodstained bandages wrapped tightly around his head. Tyler looked a hundred times worse than I felt. But he was staring anxiously at me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine, Tyler — you look awful, are you all right?" As we spoke, nurses began unwinding his soiled bandages, exposing a myriad of shallow slices all over his forehead and left cheek.

He ignored me. "I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong…" He winced as one nurse started dabbing at his face.

"Don't worry about it; you missed me."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone…"

"Umm… Edward and Cedric pulled me out of the way."

He looked confused. "Who?"

"Edward Cullen and Cedric Diggory — they were standing next to me." I'd always been a terrible liar; I didn't sound convincing at all.

"Cullen and Diggory? I didn't see them… wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Are they okay?"

"I think so. They are here somewhere, but they didn't make them use a stretcher."

I knew I wasn't crazy. What had happened? There was no way to explain away what I'd seen.

They wheeled me away then, to X-ray my head. I told them there was nothing wrong, and I was right. Not even a concussion. I asked if I could leave, but the nurse said I had to talk to a doctor first. So I was trapped in the ER, waiting, harassed by Tyler's constant apologies and promises to make it up to me. No matter how many times I tried to convince him I was fine, he continued to torment himself. Finally, I closed my eyes and ignored him. He kept up a remorseful mumbling.

"Is she sleeping?" a musical voice asked. My eyes flew open.

Edward was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking. I glared at him. It wasn't easy — it would have been more natural to ogle.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry —" Tyler began.

Edward lifted a hand to stop him.

"No blood, no foul," he said, flashing his brilliant teeth. He moved to sit on the edge of Tyler's bed, facing me. He smirked again.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asked me.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," I complained. "How come you and Cedric aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know," he answered. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

Then a doctor walked around the corner, and my mouth fell open. He was young, he was blond… and he was handsomer than any movie star I'd ever seen. He was pale, though, and tired-looking, with circles under his eyes. From Charlie's description, this had to be Edward's father.

"So, Miss Swan," Dr. Cullen said in a remarkably appealing voice, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said, for the last time, I hoped.

He walked to the lightboard on the wall over my head, and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good," he said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine," I repeated with a sigh, throwing a quick scowl toward Edward. The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly along my skull. He noticed when I winced.

"Tender?" he asked.

"Not really." I'd had worse.

I heard a chuckle, and looked over to see Edward's patronizing smile. My eyes narrowed.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room — you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

"Can't I go back to school?" I asked, imagining Charlie trying to be attentive.

"Maybe you should take it easy today."

I glanced at Edward. "Do he and Cedric get to go to school?"

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," Edward said smugly.

"Actually," Dr. Cullen corrected, "Cedric needs to go home too - and most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," I moaned, covering my face with my hands.

Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to stay?"

"No, no!" I insisted, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and hopping down quickly. Too quickly — I staggered, and Dr. Cullen caught me. He looked concerned.

"I'm fine," I assured him again. No need to tell him my balance problems had nothing to do with hitting my head.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," he suggested as he steadied me.

"It doesn't hurt that bad," I insisted.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Dr. Cullen said, smiling as he signed my chart with a flourish.

"Lucky Cedric and Edward happened to be standing next to me," I amended with a hard glance at one half of the subject of my statement.

"Oh, well, yes," Dr. Cullen agreed, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. Then he looked away, at Tyler, and walked to the next bed. My intuition flickered; whatever it really was, the doctor was in on it.

"I'm afraid that you'll have to stay with us just a little bit longer," he said to Tyler, and began checking his cuts.

As soon as the doctor's back was turned, I moved to Edward's side.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I hissed under my breath. He took a step back from me, his jaw suddenly clenched.

"Your father is waiting for you," he said through his teeth.

I glanced at Dr. Cullen and Tyler.

"I'd like to speak with you and Cedric alone, if you don't mind," I pressed.

He glared, and then turned his back and strode down the long room. I nearly had to run to keep up. As soon as we turned the corner into a short hallway, he spun around to face me.

"What do you want?" he asked, sounding annoyed. His eyes were cold.

His unfriendliness intimidated me. My words came out with less severity than I'd intended. "You, and Cedric, either of you, owe me an explanation," I reminded him.

"We saved your life — I don't owe you anything."

I flinched back from the resentment in his voice. "You promised."

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." His tone was cutting.

My temper flared now, and I glared defiantly at him. "There's nothing wrong with my head."

He glared back. "What do you want, Bella?"

"I want to know the truth," I said. "I want to know why I'm lying for you two."

"What do you think happened?" he snapped.

It came out in a rush.

"All I know is that neither you nor Cedric were anywhere near me — Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both — and it didn't, and Cedric pushed me out of the way, and your hands left dents in the side of it — and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all — and the van should have smashed my legs and Cedric's, but you were holding it up…" I could hear how crazy it sounded, and I couldn't continue. I was so mad I could feel the tears coming; I tried to force them back by grinding my teeth together.

He was staring at me incredulously. But his face was tense, defensive.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity, but it only made me more suspicious. It was like a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor. I merely nodded once, jaw tight.

"Nobody will believe that, you know." His voice held an edge of derision now.

"I'm not going to tell anybody." I said each word slowly, carefully controlling my anger.

Surprise flitted across his face. "Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me," I insisted. "I don't like to lie — so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

"Can't you just thank Ced and me and get over it?"

"Thank you." I waited, fuming and expectant.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment."

We scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to speak, trying to keep myself focused. I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.

"Why did you even bother?" I asked frigidly.

He paused, and for a brief moment his stunning face was unexpectedly vulnerable.

"I don't know," he whispered.

And then he turned his back on me and walked away.

I was so angry, it took me a few minutes until I could move. When I could walk, I made my way slowly to the exit at the end of the hallway. Before I made it to the end though, I went back in search of Cedric. He owed me an explanation too, and he'd better be nicer than Edward! I looked through every opened doorway and some that weren't, but I didn't found him anywhere. It didn't calm my temper one bit.

The waiting room was more unpleasant than I'd feared. It seemed like every face I knew in Forks was there, staring at me. Charlie rushed to my side; I put up my hands.

"There's nothing wrong with me," I assured him sullenly. I was still aggravated, not in the mood for chitchat.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Dr. Cullen saw me, and he said I was fine and I could go home." I sighed. Mike and Jessica and Eric were all there, beginning to converge on us. "Let's go," I urged.

Charlie put one arm behind my back, not quite touching me, and led me to the glass doors of the exit, pausing as a tall man entered hurriedly. It gave me time to wave sheepishly at my friends, hoping to convey that they didn't need to worry anymore. It was a huge relief— the first time I'd ever felt that way — to get into the cruiser.

We drove in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely knew Charlie was there. I was positive that Edward's defensive behavior in the hall was a confirmation of the bizarre things I still could hardly believe I'd witnessed. When we got to the house, Charlie finally spoke.

"Um… you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty.

I was appalled. "You told Mom!"

"Sorry."

I slammed the cruiser's door a little harder than necessary on my way out. My mom was in hysterics, of course. I had to tell her I felt fine at least thirty times before she would calm down. She begged me to come home — forgetting the fact that home was empty at the moment — but her pleas were easier to resist than I would have thought. I was consumed by the mystery Cedric and Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I wasn't as eager to escape Forks as I should be, as any normal, sane person would be.

This is really only messing around. I haven't the first part fully written yet.

EDIT: mistakes and awful galiscisms fixed thanks to minisinoo

alexiel_neesan @ 2008-07-03T11:20:00

2008-07-03T09:48:49Z

Y'know, I sometimes realize that my lj-friends aren't the sanest of people (my RL friends aren't either, but that another problem). So copperbadge I blame you for goolism.

I spent the last quarter of hour on this. (and also, I used my real name - so now everybody knows about it- because the results with 'alexiel' weren't results) and it's all

alix is a super hero
alix is no super hero (there's a contradiction there)
alix is a man (NO I'M NOT!)
alix is "a red
alix is a super hero alix lives downstairs and has a picture of a teenage
alix is no super hero alix?s boyfriend says that he loves her and she believes him despite that he's off with other girls (sounds sadly belivable)
alix is the winner of the 1999 national photography prize of spain
alix is going to her brother
alix is a liverpudlian woman on the cusp of 50
alix is my new girlfriend
alix is attempting to eliminate the competition (hehe, I'm not just attempting...)
alix is an active member of several art and historical societies and contributes regularly to art exhibitions and has a stand at many of the uk's major
alix is the first civilian and first woman to be elected chairman of the services’ top art society
alix is just so cute and loveable (yes, yes)
alix is a mean mommy (*laugh*)
alix is? she's my pet gerbil
alix is a very typical working malinois
alix is my test dog
alix is a brilliantly immediate character
alix is currently doing research into her genetic roots
alix is discovering a factory her mother used to own before they left germany
alix is more mature and settled
alix is still in elementary school
alix is orphaned
alix is 100% v
alix is called to the local police station; it seems hank has been arrested for murder of his new friend
alix is a big giant girl with a supercool personality (yes. yes. Bis)
alix is part of a long established liverpool (huh?)
alix is a true performer and was a delight to have in class
alix is half way between edmonton and calgary (sorry, no. I'm in France, not Canada)
alix is a talent that definitely has the talent and
alix is insulted by matt's dismissal of her
alix is engaged while
alix is the favored to win as he sidesteps through time and space on his quest to drive the bullet home
alix is preparing a tdo project application
alix is the only girl on the northeast team (team of what?)
alix is astonishing
alix is stupid and rong (quite the contrary actually...)
alix is an internationally known jeweler with a diverse sense of design and an excellent eye for color
alix is now a student at wellesley college
alix is one of our cats
alix is the founder of alixpartners
alix is as appealing a heroine as ever graced the pages of a novel (LOL!)
alix is zarla's younger brother and a wolf
alix is located 68 km
alix is a woman who has sorted life out
alix is not a member of our guild
alix is from greenwood
alix is also available upon commission to provide custom art based on current availability or to design specific projects to fit your needs
alix is a graduate from meredith college in raleigh
alix is the only one that truly understands the demons that the (... the what? when, who where? 't was the interesting sentence and it's cut))
alix is our main deliverer of courses in motivational skills and learning to learn
alix is turned off by "small um
alix is starting over
alix is the guy floating on the cloud (hum, pretty much, yes)
alix is a woman who knows how to get what she wants
alix is just getting known and
alix is a professor of computer science in ecn and jean
alix is part of the boomtown trail
alix is to check the minutes of the f&gpc meetings that she chaired
alix is a female panther
alix is in a pretty heavy pre
alix is a
alix is a custom bundle from videomedia designed for silicon graphics applications
alix is survived by her husband
alix is a civilian policeman
alix is located east of red deer
alix is leaving during
alix is an extremely versatile and talented artist who has chosen to utilize various mediums to depict the life
alix is an associate director who began working at lesley in the fall of 2000
alix is lixness monster
alix is from toronto (hum, no. Originally I'm from Rapid City)
alix is also the founder of southfield
alix is quite capable of this
alix is
alix is a red (again? I'm apolitic guys!)
alix is a feisty 7
alix is $193
alix is a certified public accountant and president of jay alix and associates
alix is asked to appraise the paintings that were ruined by the fire
alix is also aware that the people who design the sats
alix is and will be an example of tender lovely mother (no. I'm a mean mommy)
alix is a senior at st
alix is available for on
alix is a legend
alix is our main deliverer of courses in motivational skills
alix is a lesson in the possibilities and limitations of love
alix is engaged to be married and will tie the knot soon (not possible)
alix is of an ancient line

My personal favorites are "alix is a legend" and "alix is of an ancient line". It's also fun to notice how many times art and the like come back in the sentences.

A bit of fangirling now :

cedric diggory is chosen to represent hogwarts but mysteriously
cedric diggory is gone
cedric diggory is just the beginning
cedric diggory is selected as the champion for hogwarts
cedric diggory is born
cedric diggory is the extremely good
cedric diggory is
cedric diggory is among the best
cedric diggory is without a doubt
cedric diggory is?"
cedric diggory is the best
cedric diggory is hiding in our audience
cedric diggory is still with that china
cedric diggory is in hufflepuff and pennylope p

pattinson is quoted by the newcastle chronicle
pattinson is a brilliant writer
pattinson is a good teller of tales
pattinson is claiming that he paid
pattinson is
pattinson is a wonderful opportunity for us
pattinson is active in coal mining
pattinson is inmiddels opnieuw vertrokken
pattinson is a great place to purchase any toy
pattinson is the glue (that ties us all together - Oh Rob...)
pattinson is the current under 54kg national champ
pattinson is a veteran ferreter from rosedale in victoria and continues most days setting his nets and putting the ferret to work
pattinson is more then enthusiastic about the workshops
pattinson is right on target again
pattinson is the gggg
pattinson is hoping to compete at the olympic games
pattinson is an english writer and photographer
pattinson is coming up on the rails
pattinson is suing the organization over its handling of homosexuality
pattinson is a rock
pattinson is arrived here last night
pattinson is bartender and daniel pedroja is offical bouncer
pattinson is not correct spelling
pattinson is gone again
pattinson is horrified

scott summers is a pretty reticent
scott summers is pretty much the same guy that we knew in comics
scott summers is a high
scott summers is cyclops
scott summers is related to half the marvel universe
scott summers is
scott summers is considered the first x
scott summers is a man i respect more then i could ever say for what he has lived
scott summers is that life is so damn difficult on its own and then trying to figure out what you are thinking is like
scott summers is the community sports editor for the northwest missourian
scott summers is one
scott summers is less brooding and serious
scott summers is expected to move up and replace brooks at defensive tackle for the razorbacks
scott summers is at the train station
scott summers is a man who allows his "job" to define him
scott summers is?? this is the guy who was a loner as a kid
scott summers is a rookie
scott summers is the skinny recluse
scott summers is this guy?s father
scott summers is blasting its beached head
scott summers is a very complex human being and it is scott summers who are so interesting because he
scott summers is the poster boy for all things x
scott summers is not willing to place himself or his team at further risk
scott summers is the mutant equivalent of prince charming and your love is undying and you suck his dick every night
scott summers is dead?
scott summers is the field leader of the x
scott summers is possibly related
scott summers is the center
scott summers is known as the cool
scott summers is quickly realizing that the man he's aligned himself with
scott summers is no longer with us
scott summers is dead
scott summers is leading research with both graduate and undergraduate students using a pilot treatment plant
scott summers is enslavement and
scott summers is one of them?
scott summers is his best friend and he wants kitty pryde as his girlfriend
scott summers is cables father
scott summers is alive and well
scott summers is my husband
scott summers is one of the most 'clean' people he knew
scott summers is finally dead
scott summers is a man of strength and control
scott summers is marvel's and he doesn't provide me with any money
scott summers is on his own
scott summers is out of the 72nd international six days enduro
scott summers is assistant district prosecuting attorney
scott summers is the definition of cool under pressure
scott summers is too busy watching his former teammate colossus
scott summers is proof
scott summers is the first x
scott summers is what's wrong with you
scott summers is afraid of much
scott summers is kensuke
scott summers is the leader of the x
scott summers is weer terug van weggeweest en vóór hij terugkeert naar de x
scott summers is not a subtle man
scott summers is speechless
scott summers is standing there
scott summers is not going to survive kwannon yashida very long
scott summers is the key to the future
scott summers is the property of marvel comics

and the lj-cuts are now fixed!

Summer

2008-06-29T17:38:54Z

Okay. Last Friday, School year was finished and done ( with barbecue, beer, sunburn and typical my-school-insanity). The day before, Holy-Peter-Pan-play of doom was finished and done (and for good).
I'm on holidays. Which means I've already drank more than I should have, have been to my uncle's wedding, took one kilo in a weekend, got (more) sunburns, swam at Annecy's Lake, drew the bride and groom and generally made an attraction of myself. There's worst ways to begin the holidays.
I've still got to: browse the sales with Nane, finish the paintings I've been comissionned to do, find a job for August and September etc etc ... and write. More fanfic to come soon (I hope).

So hot...Too hot...

2008-06-25T11:18:25Z

The weather is crazy. It's so warm we don't want to step out of the nice cool classes - but we Pannies will have to since we've got a decor to install outside for the play. As for the play, it's definite, I won't continue on the project. P. already sold it to two comics festivals, but the soonest one will be in October, and by this time I'll be in third year at school with slightly more important aims (said, completing my year and passing the final exam). Now, I just have to tell P. Wish me luck.

On other news, it's almost the holidays, I have seriously began writing 'Northern Lights', though I have no idea of when the first part will be complete (also, if someone is willing to beta - I'm French and it shows in my english) and I'm preparing a new page of insanity from 'Keep Flying'.

I saw the teaser for Twilight too - yummy looking, though I wondered at the very blue image. Is it supposed to help making think the weather is always overcast? I made me think of 'Underworld'. And I can't believe it, but my sisters and I talked (well, made a lot of unnecessary noise and finished on sudden downpour from a glass while having dinner) about the movie. Baboune was her mean self, Nane wants to see it for Cam Gigandet (and she thinks he's playing Emmett....) and both made fun of me when I said I'd see it only for Robert Pattinson.

Back, I'm back back back...

2008-06-18T19:24:59Z

We're roughly at the end of the three-weeks period we have at my school to get an internship in partically any job in relation with art and our formation, or to make a personnal project. This year, mine was both as I was part of a group (more or less) selected by P., on of or teacher and a scenarist, to work on a play based on J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan. So we all went to his place for two weeks (since he lives far away from the school - about 160 km is far away in France), and 'we all' mean the Pannies and the Wanabee Manga (another project with people of the school he's working on.).

Here's what I learnt (cut for ramblings).

- P. can't carry a tune to save his life (unlike his oldest son)
- Play-doh is cool. Play-doh is good. Play-doh rules. Play-doh doesn't help working at all.
- M. (I already talked about M., he's the one who said REC was a good movie) is a kid. Well, he's more like a six-years-old brat, with glitter everywhere and mostly in the beard. (And he's ALONE!)
-You can't OD on Malabar (not for lack of trying though, and we still got the tattoos to prove it)
-You can't OD on music
-The amount of craziness gathered by the reunion of all of us together is properly staggering ( and the Wanabee Manga team is a category of its own)
-There's a fellow yaoi-ist among us and she loves X too (X from CLAMP people...)
-Beer-rice-pasta is not a correct diet, even if it's cheap.
- Oreo are good! Oreo with milk are better! *glares at M.*
-We tested both trailer-park and squat (at P.'s). Trailer-park is better. At least it doesn't rain on the bed and we can eat inside. And the toilets are inside too.
- Rainy weather doesn't help working. Sunny weather (when the sun could be guessed from in between the clouds) doesn't help working. Lack of sleep doesn't help working. P. doesn't really help working either (too many impossible ideas)
- Sleep is good.
- 'Carnivàle' is good
-Being treated of 'acting like Eurieus' by M. is an insult (Eurieus is a classmate of ours, a not very active one...)
- Putting together a show in three weeks (with our current level) can just not be done. At least the music's good.

The play's premiere is next Thursday, for the Giving-diplomas-to-the-third-years-who'll-finally-get-the-hell-out-of-here ceremony. I hope booze is scheduled for the buffet. I think this play will be our careers' suicides before they even began.

alexiel_neesan @ 2008-06-01T14:31:00

2008-06-01T12:30:27Z

I wonder how further I've slipped down the Dark side of the geekiness. Let me present my favorite video for the last few weeks, which triggered a return to the awesomeness that's CLAMP's work. (And I want to buy 'Legal Drug', dammit, but how am I supposed to do so when it can't be bought?)

Five stories that should have never seen the light of a screen - 2/5

2008-05-19T20:09:27Z

Actually, this one is kind of the exception comfirming the rule since it was intended to see the lights of fandom (and more specifically the computers of minisinoo and xenokattz). But plot came and left and Keep Flying was more interesting anyway.

Title: (rather, working title) Avada
Rating: PG, just to be on the safe side
What's in: Harry Potter / Firefly crossover, set into the Firefly universe. As timeline goes, it would happen a short while after Serenity (the movie). Serenity crew looking for a pilot. Guy looking for a place to stay. But, of course, we're dealing with the Serenity crew here. Nothing is ever simple.

To the badfic!

One of the reasons why the Avada Curse was a forbidden one, beside that it killed, is that no-one knew what it really did, as in what it did in the long term, what were the true consequences of its use - for the user as for the victim.
Everyone knew it killed. But they didn't knew how. As far as curses and hexes were concerned, the Avada wasn't that much of an old one ; the first texts references dated from mid-nineteenth century, in the full blast of the Muggle Industrial Revolution, which had triggered - or had been triggered by the Magical Development Decade. The first studies conducted over the new curse were quickly squished down once the obvious result was known, for never to be reconducted again.
Some were saying the Avada Curse was shutting down the brain. Some were saying it was separating the soul from the body, though they weren't saying where the soul was going after that. Some had witnessed that you had to mean it to use it.
And sometimes, sometimes it didn't even work the way it was supposed to.

+ + +

He had to rebuild his life. Or rather, build an entirely new life.

He remembered some things with a terrifying accuracy, edges of broken glass sending back blinding flash of light. He remembered that he was dead. But he wasn't. He remembered and knew things darker than he should have. He remembered that they had had an explanation for the weird scar on his chest, the one which looked like a burn, but this explanation defied all logic. Just like him.

He remembered the three years spent in the Research unit and the screams muffled behind the other doors and how he had been tested and the things he was hopelessly trying to forget - and was squarely failing to. He had been an experiment, a weapon, formed by an independent cell, worked on by sorts of secret sub-services of the government and various corporations. He was still an experiment, a weapon.
He remembered how, one year ago, the project he was and the independent cell had been dismantled. No reason had been given. He still wasn't sure they had really let him go. He still wasn't sure he was really free - if he had ever been.

Getting lost was easy - fake papers, enforced persuasion, money won here and there in poker and mah-jong games, in various tricks and sometimes won from small jobs left and right; jumping from a run-down ship to another, avoiding cops and anything that looked like law enforcement, avoiding the weirdoes and anyplace most people avoided, acting like the mass to better slip under the attention, constantly moving, constantly changing, keeping on the edges, keeping near the Black. He consciously avoided the Core and the place he had come from in his traveling; finding him back here, if they ever wanted him back one way or another, would be too easy. He didn't want to go back. He didn't want to be made go back.

His fake papers bore a fake name. It hadn't been the name they had been using for him, but everything was better than 'Soldier' or 'cockroach' or any other endearing term they had used for him. He had used this name and various anagram of it as identities over the last year. It was comfortable, and comforting like a sweater worn too much, like a song known by heart, like a night in a real bed - but it was a fake name. Any name would be a fake one anyway, since he didn't knew, didn't remembered, his real identity.

His current papers bore the name Cedric Diggory.

+ + +

He got a job at some kind of bar - the alcohol was cheap and bad, like the girls who hanged around; all kind of seedy business was conducted here and it was badly frequented - just like the whole dusty planet. It was his kind of place, where he was just another face in the crowd, even less; as long as he was behind the bar, he was part of the decor.

"...'m just saying, Captain, that you could have seen this coming..."
"Inara, please, no more 'I told you so'."

Some more customers entered the darkened place, light from outside trailing behind the three of them - a weird mix, even for a place like here, but a mix very easy on the eyes. The pale-skinned woman seemed to be a Companion, rare enough in those parts of the Rim for not to be noticed; the guys seated around followed her from the corner of their eyes. Personally, he was a bit more keen on the dark-skinned woman who was walking straight and proud, the one the guys stopped following from the corner of their eyes because she was holding promises of fast death in the way she carried herself. They went to the other side of the room, where business was usually conducted, and sat down to an already occupied table. He forgot about them as soon as the main waitress sauntered to their table, wiggling her fat butt, and he went back to polishing the not-exactly clean counter, serving shots of unknown alcohol and trying to clean glasses.

Forgetting about them didn't mean he didn't forgot to let his ears wander - an acquired reflex he wasn't trying too hard to forget since it was rather useful. They were- rather, the coat-wearing man was asking around for a pilot, a good one. Cedric's ears perked up at the bit of info. Then they flapped back down as a handful of various thugs-types men following a better dressed one stepped through and focused on little him behind the bar. The better dressed guy had been the owner of the playing ring where Cedric had won a bit more than a month's wage in two hours, and much, much more in the following ones last night. The thought entered his head that he should have stopped after the first two hours - but he needed the coins. He had been on this moon for too long; people were beginning to recognize him in the street, they could recall he was working here, or regularly playing -and winning- in the various rings of the port. He needed to leave the moon, and fast.

Fast meant a lot of money. Money was found in playing rings. Playing rings meant Mah-jong and poker.

Mah-jong tiles and cards were tricky to, well, trick and trick with. Figures, numbers and ideograms had their own meanings and set of limitations. Influencing on a whole game required a lot of focus, and a good understanding of the different dynamics at work. He didn't knew that at first, it was natural to him. Then he understood a bit more the workings of the games he was in, and with the understanding came the money. He was sure that it had never been a part of the testing thing they did to him. But what could have been a door unlocking on his identity or past had stayed a blank wall. That and a steady source of income when he was finding a good playing ring wherever he was staying at the time.

It was also a source of rapid troubles when one wasn't particularly happy with the outcome of the most recent game - like now. He tried to leave the bar by the storeroom's door, but his boss grabbed him by his frayed collar and pushed him away from the counter, in the well-dressed man's face. Bastard, he thought, before he was being dragged out not too gently by the thugs.

...

His landlady had screeched high and loud that she didn't want to see his face anymore, before giving him two hours to clear out his place. The little dusty hellhole of a room he had been renting had been ransacked - almost nothing left in one piece. He figured the thugs had tried to find the money. He dragged tiredly his frame in the single room, put what was left of his stuff in his only bag; then got his money out of its hiding place where no-one but him would have found it, put it in the bag along the rest. The thugs really did a number on him, he mused when he met his reflection's eyes in the cracked mirror. He didn't ponder over the fact they could as well have killed him - a life more or a life less, what was the difference here?

He shouldered his bag, closed the door on the broken furniture on the floor, dropped his keys on the landlady's doormat and left. His feet, limping a bit, took him to the trail of dusty dirt, to the bar he was formerly working at, and to the port. He needed to know who had been the guy asking for a pilot, and what was his ship's name if they weren't gone already.

...

"I heard you're planning on leaving early," Cedric said, not daring to step on the metallic and rusty ramp. It looked a bit like the dark mouth of a mystical beast ready to crunch him. The ship, a Firefly-class named Serenity, seemed to fall in pieces on the outside. But this was his last chance in a very long while to leave.
The guy on top of the ramp crossed his arms on his chest, unimpressed. "Yeah, and?"
"I need a ride."
"We ain't a free-tour bus kid."
He hated it when people called him kid. He couldn't really stop them though. "I can pay."
The expression on the man's face changed, his eyebrows lowering and his arms falling on either sides of his body - weapons in easier reach this way... . He was downright suspicious and Cedric couldn't blame him. "You ain't my type." Cedric sighed mentally, because that was another one he heard often and couldn't do anything about.
"Well, if you don't want my coins... I overheard you talking at the bar - still looking for a pilot?"He said, trying not to move his head too much to keep the headache in the 'supportable' type of pain.
The dark-skinned woman from earlier joined the captain, her arms crossed. The captain blinked at the question, then frowned again. He seemed to do that a lot. "Weren't you the guy behind the counter, at the bar?"
Cedric tried not to nod, settling for a neutral "yea".
A girl suddenly bounced from behind him, her arms full. "Hey Captain, I found this most..." She did a double take at the scene, and smiled. "Are you looking for a ride?" She asked Cedric, apparently nonplussed with the bruises spreading on his face.
"Kaylee," said the captain, "we're taking care of this." He adressed Cedric then :"Why don't we talk inside about your offer?"
...

...

He didn't fit in the crew until the first job. And even then, he was acknowledged mostly by the bubbly mechanic, her doc of a boyfriend, the Companion and the captain - and the last one was still sketchy at best. The dark-skinned woman - Zoë - ignored him, unless to give him an order, the 'hired muscle' Jayne treated him as a kid, and he avoided as much as he could the doc's sister who scared the shit out of him - but he hid it because he quickly understood that showing it was signing his return back on dirt faster than light-speed.

River scared the shit out of him, but at the same time, there was something in her that felt no-quite familiar but almost. There was something that whispered forgotten memories in the way she behaved. He tried not to dwell too much on it, because it hurt to think too much about it and he was useless when he hurt.

The very first time they were alone face to face was for a lot in his fear of her.
"Two by two, hands of blue..." she sing-sang.
Cedric whirled around, staring at her :"What?!" It hit a little too close for comfort. She was a little too close from him for comfort too. He could feel the air she expired on his cheek. It didn't help that he hadn't heard her coming next to him, and that it never failed to make him nervous.
"Two by two, hands of blue," she repeated, standing eerily motionless in the corridor. "They took the sky from you."
Her words released a whirlwind of images too quickly gone and buried feelings he didn't even knew he had. He swallowed, hard. When he opened his eyes again, she wasn't there anymore.

...

The space wasn't a nice place, he thought, gazing through the large cockpit windows. He was awkwardly sitting cross-legged in the pilot's seat, a not-too-frayed sweater on and his arms around him. The dinosaures action figures were nicely staying on their bit of console. He found them that he liked them, he had gotten used to see them there. He didn't found why he always thought 'dragons' when he was looking at them.
The space was cold, and empty, and dark but for the far away pinpoints of diamonds of the stars. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it felt like he knew the stars and theirs names and he had spent cold nights out his nose up in the air to look at those diamonds. But he didn't knew the names of the stars and those ones out didn't felt familiar.

...

Flying, it was... They taught him how to pilot, though it never touched the tip of 'flying', purely flying, feeling the engine and the ship and almost becoming another piece of mechanic working with the ship as a whole. Learning how to pilot had never been about excitement and pleasure.
He loved to fly. There were pieces and dreams sometimes, where he flew. He remembered flying, and flying fast, feeling the wind rushing at his ears and the ever changing sky, and feeling free, finally free. He thought it was only dreams, though. No-one could fly in the skies without the help of a ship, couldn't they?
When he piloted and when he dreamt were the only two moments he really ever felt free.

When he dreamed about flying fast, sometimes there were others. They were sometimes wearing different colors from the ones he knew he had, sometimes not. He dreamed of a cheering crowd. He dreamed about black eyes and soft mouth in blue, he dreamed about green and innocent and yet too old eyes in red.
He never remembered it once awake.

+++

He couldn't sleep. It was not the fault of the bunk - it was, by far, the best bed he has ever had. It was not the fault of the food, though next time he'd insist on cooking because Kaylee was abysmal at it. Or maybe he'd insist on Simon cooking. It was not the fault of the last botched job. It was not the fault of River latest prediction or whatever it was. He just couldn't sleep. So he played this game they never caught at the Research Unit, this game he played when he was absolutely alone, this game he played when no-one can possibly watching, this game which seemed to be a door but ended as another wall.
He sat against the headboard, the overlight muted, a rounded stone in his open palm. He focused a bit, and the stone went slowly up. It went up and down and he made it spinning and it felt right he could almost put a name on the rush in his blood he tasted electricity on the tips of his tongue tasted like something he knew but they didn't taught him that it was different every time and it felt good, so good inside.
The stone fell with a loud clatter to the floor when River made a little noise over his head.

...

"What's your name? Your real one?"
He glanced between Mal too close from him and Zoë on the other side of the dining room, ready to act. The others didn't count; they were only the audience. "I don't know."
"You don't know or you don't remember?" asked the Captain.
Cedric scrunched his face - not that they could see it, with the way his head was lowered to look at his knees. He finally sighed.
"The answer to this question would be another 'I don't know'. I don't know if I knew it, and if so, I don't remember I knew. Does it make any sense?"
"...No...?"
"How should we call you then?"
"... I've been Cedric so far. I think I'd like to stay Cedric a bit longer."

-----
End (because what could have been next is in fact part of Keep Flying)

I need a Holland icon.

2008-05-09T18:01:48Z

Soo, I finished watching Eureka Seven.
It's good stuff, all in all. The music is good, the scenario's good too - and on a concept design basis, everything works and looks like it can work (although it may seems contradictory, I often saw things which shouldn't have worked regardless of whatever laws of physics they used - and it didn't happen here ; so now I'm hoping one will invent Ref boards and that we will all go surfing the air waves).
The characters are interesting (it's not often that we have really tri-dimensionnal characters), with backstories and all, the world created works... Bones (that's the studio which did the serie) is really a guarantee of extremely good work.

Now that I said the good stuff, let's pass on the bad.
This was another serie who goes the way of the lollipop in the end. No, it ends only half pear-shaped, unlike some other series which began extremely pleasently and leave you wondering why it ended because you didn't understood the last episodes (cough Ergo Proxy and Yukikaze cough).
The two last episodes were weird - Dewey last fight especially... The Corellians were weird too, it looked as if it had already been done, and multicolored monsters are, well, multicolored monsters. It seemed to me as if they skipped up over stuff while keeping us busy (and sometimes bored) with Renton and Eureka's antics (that's the heroes).
I would have wanted to see and know how and why the people part of the Gekko-State became part of this group. I would have wanted to know what happend to the rest of the Gekko-State during the epilogue, and not just stay focused of the kids. But they made a video game which apparently pick up after the end of the show, so I guess people who play the game know...(and this is annoying too, what's with this habit now of making series you have to follow on every format...)

That put aside, it's really good, and really worth watching (and I'm totally not saying that because of Holland who's a pretty intense character)